SG Fun: A Stargate Podcast

Season 1 Episode 17:  Solitudes

OOOOOooooo! We’re surprised that ice cave isn’t turned into a steam cave!

Sparks fly between Captain Doctor Carter and MacGyver because they think they’re about to die on a mysterious ice cave planet with a dial home device buried in summa that ice! O’Neill is too wounded for things to get out of hand with is a good thing, because they’re on the ice-cavey part of EARTH!

Boom! TWO Stargates! And yeah, America secretly takes this one too.

Season 1 Episode 16:  Enigma

The Gate Gang saves a group of highly advanced human-looking aliens. In an effort to “alienate” them, Carter gives the sexy one a cat*. But then he introduces her to his people’s custom of lip pressing, but she already knows that one! Anyway, they’re like, our first useful ally. But they are rude as hell.

*J/K, we here at SG-Fun love cats and dogs equally.

Season 1 Episode 15: Cor-Ai

Oh snap! Teal'c is going to have to answer for his war crimes as the First Prime of Apophis! Wait though, hasn’t he been clearing brush and painting pictures of horses and war veterans?

Shouldn’t we just forgive, forget, and let him go? Loyalty to a loved character vs. loyalty to ideology all wrapped up in this one.

Season 1 Episode 14: Singularity

So we strike the balance here with Carter being just girlie or motherly enough to bond with and save a rather uncharismatic little girl, but not so much that she doesn’t seem beast enough to soldier on with the Gate Gang. Hoo-mother fucking-ray.

This is a child actor-heavy one, folks.

Season 1 Episode 13:  Hathor

Deja Vu on the Dangerous Deity Pumper sitch.

We learn all the men of Cheyenne Mountain are straight…and so are all the women (who think men are such ding dongs that they barely take seriously Goa’uld Hathor’s drugging, subjugating, and violating of the menfolk). Daniel breed giant prawns with Hathor, and good for him, as “maybe this is just how sex works in their culture.” That’s right, we still see you Daniel.

Season 1 Episode 12:  Fire and Water

Probably too busy fucking her new pet, old man fiancee, Dr. Catherine Langford doesn’t even show up when Daniel is presumed dead on a confusing planet that is both fire and water.

Daniel's in a real pickle with his team mistaking brain-tampering-induced PTSD for grief while he’s trapped by a tiny sea monster looking for his wife WHO HAS BEEN MISSING FOR 1000 YEARS. Damn, Daniel's people gave up on him after what, a week? They literally cleaned out his apartment, read his diary, and held a funeral/BBQ.

Sucks to suck, D-man.

Season 1 Episode 11: Bloodlines

Talc has a son? And a wife? And he can sneak back to his planet to see them but never has? What a dick. His wife does not stay mad enough, even after stabbing him. Also, never drink Daniel’s coffee.  

Also, SG Fun has Evolved!  Now with ACTUAL Audio Equipment!  No more wondering if Tory and Sarah are talking through Casio Compact Headsets through Phone Modems from 1994.  Enjoy!

Season 1 Episode 10: The Torment of Tantalus

How long must one be trapped in a wave-crashed cave before one becomes an Always Nude, a naturalist? How long, really, before one throws oneself into the sea? Longer than we’d think! Something like 50 ridiculous years! Catherine, please accept this naked and confused old man as a token of the SGC’s appreciation for fucking completely off forever.

Season 1 Episode 9:  Thor's Hammer

The Team seeks to build a group of planets united against a common enemy, The Goooold; A federation of sorts, if you will. It doesn’t go great, especially for Talc, of course.

WILL OUR HEROES ALL MAKE IT OUT OF THOR’S SHITTY DISNEYLAND LABYRINTH RIDE ALIVE AND FULLY INTACT?

Alternate alternate title: Thor’s Hammered. Your hosts got pretty wasted, pretty fast for some reason.  Editing took a bit…please forgive any related delay in the release schedule!

Season 1 Episode 8: Brief Candle

Some of the team gets their fuck on, others on the team suck their teeth in jealous disapproval. It’s babies having babies all over the place and also Jack catching the literal worst STI yet discovered. We can’t believe this doesn’t happen ALL THE TIME in SciFi!