SG Fun: A Stargate Podcast

Season 5 Episode 13:  Proving Ground

Listen. Look. These cadets are almost like having a kid leading the episode. It’s whatever, but for some reason the SG-C is designing elaborate scenarios to get the Big Top Boy cadet to pass the training even though the Dainty Little Miss cadet is already there at the start of the episode with no extra help? As a great man once asked, “Why don’t you put her in charge?”

Season 5 Episode 12:  Wormhole X-Treme

I know the one where Sam and MacNeil basically express their romantic love for each other because they’re separated by a goooold shield wall thingy and think they’re dying is also good, OK.  But in this episode, frequent double dipping creative consultant Peter DeLouise makes sure we know whom he’d cast as Colonel Jack O’Neill with two els, his wee little brother. So meta, so fun.

Season 5 Episode 11: Desperate Measures

Jack’s real bestie is back in town baybee! Hutch. Or Starsky. Carter cannot literally not even catch a break! She is kidnapped leaving the gym, a fantastic reason to never work out. Or leave the house.

Anyhoozle, that Jolinar schtick really bites her in that ass this week. Ultimately the Gate Gang comes out on top in this one. Wild, I know.

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Season 5 Episode 10:  2001

Hey y'all, remember in the Episode "2010" when the note that got through the gate was O'Neil's.  Not Daniel's, not Sam's, but Macguver's quite minimalistic, "DON'T GO HERE!"  followed by the planet number.

Well, turns out it would have been nice if he had added the word "Ashen People", "Sterility," "Fuck these Assholes,"  ANYTHING, because we almost GET what happened in 2010 come to pass because, turns out, OTHER people know them, introduce them to us, and we think they're GREAT!!

Just. . you know. . .be a bit more thorough, O'Neil.  

Also, every boyfriend Carter has (or can potentially have) dies.  What up with that?

Season 5 Episode 9: 

Can you even?! These sanctimonious Tolan dicks (who let’s not forget know how to separate gooooolds from hosts but keep it to themselves and help like, um no one) continue to demonstrate that they are selfish little twats.

They try to sell out Earth to that huge prick Tanith. Narim is the best Tolan and probably Sam’s best boyfriend in the series, so it is a huge bummer that he chooses to stay behind on a doomed Tolana at the end. Honestly, I think more people should come back to Earth. It’s weird that each member of SG-1 has to be an island.

Season 5 Episode 8:  The Tomb

In this Fraggle Rock/SG-1 crossover from Hell, the Gate Gang and their Russian pals get chased (and in some cases horrifically killed) by the grossest Fraggle.

Luckily one Russian survives to prove that SG-1 didn’t do a whole bunch of murders on the Russians. So yeah, post-Cold War relations are probably leading to a pretty great future of abundance and cooperation. Mostly though, THAT IS NOT A PYRAMID.

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Season 5 Episode 7:  Beast of Burden

Sooooo, remember in like episode four of this whole entire series when Daniel Jackson was like maybe rape is just part of their way of life and we definitely shouldn’t intervene in this one happening right in front of us? Yeah, he’s equally squishy on at least race-based slavery.

These white saviors plus Teal’c get some Unas killed during their rescue only to get to the gate and find out the Unas actually wasted their lives rescuing SG-1 because they obviously need to stick around to liberate their people. Jack thinks that might be a bad reason to distribute like two whole weapons to them. Cool, cool, cool. Very Colonial O’Neill, 2 L's.

Season 5 Episode 6: Rite of Passage

Remember that little alien kid who is also human and was also a big bomb that only love could disarm? Somehow she is 16! What! What’s the passage-of-time sitch on this show? Very soap operatic at the moment.

So Cassy kissed a boy, Dominic, and I guess hated it? She’s sick as fuck now. I guess her horny teen hormones have activated some goooldy science experiment Janet failed to detect. Side note to the once horny teen girlies out there: How much did you not need an actual kiss to get revving? Anyways, she got superpowers and then she lost them so that really sucks for her.

Season 5 Episode 5:  Red Sky

 WOOF, did the Gate Gang ever fuck up. They’ve punched a whole in someone’s sun and now the whole planet of like 30 people is dying but refusing to relocate. I mean, more people would fit in a city bus, but OK sure, stay and die.

Those annoying Disneyland-esque Hall of Viking God’s holograms are in this one, hooray for sure. Oh! MacNeill literally almost chokes a man to death. The Asgard do bail them out, but they are absolutely insufferable about it.

Season 5 Episode 4:  The Fifth Man

Remember last week when MacNeill acted like Sam was loonsaroony for having an invisible stalker? Ha! Now he’s risking his whole life for his good buddy who isn’t really real but should be because ay ai ai, have you seen this man?

I mean, it does turn out he is not even half as fine as his profile pic, but I guess that’s pretty typical. He’s a benign liar whom they would have helped out anyway and they save him in the end.