SG Fun: A Stargate Podcast

Season 3 Episode 17:  A Hundred Days

The Gate Gang accidentally strands Jack on Love Island, P5C768 where he begins his new life as a deadbeat dad (because obviously they find a way to rescue him after 100 days of getting Lara pregnant).

Mostly thought Teal’c comes very close to saying, “Well actually” back at Daniel and that is super satisfying. Teal’c also turns the tables on Daniel by answering questions directed at Daniel. Haha. How’s it feel, Daniel?

Season 3 Episode 16:  Urgo

IDK why the AI always want to live so badly, but that’s the case here as Urgo the Hitchbrainer asks MacGiver to save him from death row using only a banana peel, a toothpick, and the full annoyance power of SG-1 all talking at once.

It’s totally different from last week’s episode except also a tiny bit the same. To their credit, the Gate Gang wins a much harder case this week.  

Oh, and Dom Deluise is the shit. 

Season 3 Episode 15:  Pretense

Everyone knows all of the Starfleet Captains are also the winning-est of lawyers, but did you know MacGyver can get a friend off (basically) death row with just two matchsticks, a hardened wad of chewing gum, and a single archaeologist? Well he can and he did.

The other team had a pretty stupid argument though, so maybe it was an own goal. Also they tried to blow up all of the judges and the judges’ whole planet, so. . . . .

Season 3 Episode 14:  Foothold

Jolinar to the muther f*^&king rescue! There’s a total invasion of the body snatching aliens at the mountain, but Sam and Teal’c have that Goooldie mojo and see right through all the terrifying bullshit.

But F#$*king Maybourne's in the mix, and the Gate Gang saves the day in spite of this doofus. Quick quesh: If the human body turns over all its cells into new cells of a seven year period, will we stop hearing about Jolinar and her “remnants” by the end of this series?

Season 3 Episode 12: The Devil You Know

The last episode might not have totally done it for Sam since she, Jack, Daniel, and even rescuee Pappy Selmak were actually all captured by the alive and imprisoned Apophis. The dream is over, Sam.

Also the nightmare is on because they’re all in discredited Recovered Memory Therapy, where they have to drink devil’s blood and spill their business. And it seems Sokar is a person and a place, kind of like Paris Hilton. Anyway, Teal’c to the rescue. 

Season 3 Episode 11: Jolinar's Memories

Oh shit! Jacob/Selmak is in Hell/Sokar! The only one to ever escape Sokar is…wait for it…wait for it…yes! That’s correct! JOLINAR.

Did Sam mention she was Jolinar for a hot second? This is a dooblay win for Carter as she doesn’t have to keep reminding everyone about her Jolinar bullshit, and she gets to use said BS to save Papa Selmak who’s been a real shit of dad to her. Like, he oozes “I never think about you but if I did it would be with deep disappointment.” So suck on this rescue, Pops!

Holy Hannah you mother fucker.

Season 3 Episode 11:  Past and Present

Just kidding; slut shaming is for losers. So everyone on some planet has amnesia, right? But there’s a couple from the planet on the show, right? And is that a good idea? Just hooking up without knowing your base relationships with other people? Hey, I’m just asking questions.

The Gate Gang’s main contact, Ke’ra, seems to get it as she’s gearing up to shoot her shot with Daniel.

PS: Dr. Frasier finds something physically wrong with Ke’ra, so that’s pretty groundbreaking! 

Season 3 Episode 10: Forever in a Day

OK, so for some reason two Goooldies having a human sex-made baby creates some fucking magic. And for some reason they’ve never tried this or oopsied this before Apophis and Sha’re?

Anyhoozles, that’s what’s up and now she’s dead and Daniel is searching for her magic baby instead of  for her, so he’s around honoring this dying wish of hers. Sarah won’t miss TV Sha’re’s tremulous cries to Daniel every time she shows though. Like, bye Sha’re.  (Tory dropped some tear, tho).  

Season 3 Episode 9:  Rules of Engagement

Hashtag False God Apophis got real desperate for soldiers and Earth destroyers before he died, leaving a band of child warriors for the Gate Gang to stumble into. To be fair, half were dressed like SGX, a totally non-existent thing, and so like, a totally perf trap.

Say, did you all know corn and cotton are indigenous to North America? That knowledge may save your life one day. Anyway, Sarah somehow avoids talking about the problems with both of those crops. Amazing.

Season 3 Episode 8:  Demons

“They” is Sarah and Tory and good listeners, you will hear that gin is a one-at-a-time recording juice for these two goons.

The question of this one is To Savior or Not to Savior for Jack. Jack saviors in the end, but for some reason is reluctant about it this one time. This one time when he practically gets to be Jesus.

OK. Hey, real quick, did you all know Sam also was Jolinar? Tory and Sarah almost forgot.  

Also, more apologies for the intermittent publishing.  Real Life, yo.